Dressing for Distraction: Eiji/Atobe one shot
When a friend (who we shall arbitrarily call ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ad_exia) posts a drabble request, what person could resist suggesting the biggest crack pairing from their favourite anime series? I cheerfully demanded an Atobe x Eiji fic because, hey, that's the real meaning of friendship. I added to this a plot synopsis of "A romantic date going through Atobe's wardrobe." Estimated compatibility between these two characters? Any advances on zero?
... Then I decided to also write it myself. I'd add a line starting "because..." at this point but I can still think of no explanation. However, the comparison between our scripts is bound to be nothing short of hilarious. (Yay!ad_exia 's drabble can be found here: Lilac and Lace).
Due to attempting this exercise on a 12 hour flight from Japan to Europe, the whole "drabble" concept was blown out the window so I'm going to pretend it never existed and offer:
Dressing for Distraction
"Kikumaru, would you care to dine...," Atobe cut himself off mid-sentence as his eyes scanned the totally empty bedchamber. "Now where has he gone?" he murmured. Habit made him check the ceiling, but the elegant cornicing and the ornate branches of the chandelier were untouched. Possibly the acrobat had learnt from last week's experience although Atobe was not about to walk across any room again without checking the location of his boyfriend first.
As he was debating whether he would have to actually crawl and look under the bed, there was a thump and a crash followed by a small wail from the direction of the door in the far corner. Atobe sighed and walked across the room, stepping into a large windowless chamber where a winding rail snaked throughout the space, supporting a multitude of garments. Pressing his palm to a button on the wall, Atobe scanned his closet as the clothing rail started to move, providing snap shots through the room between the shirts, trousers and sweaters as they rolled by. He located the trouble spot; a large pile of clothing and a couple of fallen shelves, and stopped the rail, ducking under several lines of trousers to reach the far wall. Plucking a shirt from near one end of the chaos, Atobe looked into Kikumaru Eiji's sapphire eyes. "Do I even want to ask why?" he inquired, eyebrows raised.
Eiji beamed cheerfully up at him. "All your shelving makes a great climbing wall," he said, gesturing at the floor to ceiling racks. "They ..."
"... are not weight bearing," Atobe finished, dryly.
"Mou ... right," Eiji's face briefly assumed an expression of guilt as he viewed the carnage surrounding him. "This closet is huge!" he added, brightening again. "I just have a dresser. This could be a spare bedroom. A large spare bedroom."
Atobe sighed. "We have ten guest bedchambers," he pointed out. "Why would I want to make this into another one?" his eyes swept the rails. "Besides," he added. "I need the space."
Eiji screwed up his face into his best attempt at a skeptical look. It was cute, Atobe reflected, or at least it would be if it was not his closet they were discussing. "You couldn't wear half this stuff in a lifetime," Eiji informed him. He pointed to the shirt in Atobe's hand. "When was the last time you wore that?"
Atobe looked down at the pink garment with its ruffled, low-cut neckline. "Recently," he declared.
Eiji's nose scrunched up still further. "Then it was too recent," he informed his lover. His eyes swept the space behind them. "How about that?" His gaze had spotted a skin-tight lycra cat suit in electric blue.
Atobe's eyes followed his finger to view the sleeveless all-in-one. "Not so recently," he admitted. "But I might wear it again."
Eiji extracted himself from the rubble of shelving and walked over to pick up the suit, dangling it in front of Atobe's face. "When?" he demanded.
Atobe considered it. "Perhaps the next time I play Tezuka."
Eiji blinked. "Buchou?" he said blankly. He examined the suit again. It dipped low in the front to expose most of the wearer's chest and the legs were patterned with gold thread embroidery. Eiji scratched at the stitching. "Do you think he'd like it?"
"No," Atobe explained patiently, rescuing the suit from Eiji's fingers. "But if it’s distracting enough then he'll be unable to reach the detached state of Hyaku Ren Jitoku no Kiwami." He looked up at the closet ceiling, his eyes momentarily unfocussed. "I hate it when he does that," he muttered. "The glowing really rubs it in."
"I dunno," Eiji said doubtfully, his eyes following the blue suit as Atobe returned it to its original position. "Nothing much distracts Buchou."
"Hmm," Atobe's eyes roved around the room as he stood with his arms folded across his chest. "Perhaps if I added these?" Striding forward, he plucked a pair of calf-high leather boots from a top shelf, fingering their slight heel as he brought them to Eiji for inspection. "A gift from Oshitari," he explained.
Eiji ran his hands over the boots' brass buckles, trying to decide whether their origin as a present from the long haired tensai made their continuing presence in Atobe's wardrobe acceptable. His eyes lit up when a red velvet shirt was swung in front of his nose. "Furry!" he exclaimed, rubbing his face in its folds.
Atobe let the shirt go, making a mental note to bring it out next time he and Eiji had dinner plans. "If furry is good...," he walked away to the other end of the room, dipping a hand into a chest pushed against the opposite wall.
Eiji, whose face was still buried in the velvet shirt, felt softness wrap around his forehead. "Ooh," he looked up and a lime green feather boa fell gently around his shoulders.
Atobe wound the boa around Eiji's head, covering the lower part of his face. Blue eyes peered between green feathers and rusty hair. "Distracting," thought Atobe. "Definitely distracting."
Eiji started to laugh helplessly, the sound muffled through a mouthful of feathers. His eyes travelled from the cat suit to the leather boots and down to the boa and the red velvet shirt, still clutched in his hands. "That'll distract Buchou," he chuckled. He stepped towards Atobe but tripped over the boots to end up in a heap of feather, velvet and leather. Rolling onto his back, eyes still brimming with laugher, he raised his right hand in a V-sign. "Bwee!" he declared.
Atobe smiled. He never could resist that laugh.
----
"Game, set and match, Tezuka," the referee called. "Six games to two."
Eiji rested his chin on the railings surrounding the court. "Well, Buchou didn't go all Muga no Kyouchi," he pointed out.
Beside him, Oishi looked down at his friend's fiery mass of locks. "Eiji, he didn't have to. Atobe could barely run in those boots," he blinked as he looked back at the player on the far side of the court. "And that boa got caught up in his racket."
Eiji sighed. "That was the floor in the plan," he admitted. "But who would have guessed lycra could tear so easily?"
Oishi shook his head in amused disbelieve. "No one, Eiji," he said. "I'm sure could have predicted that outfit could cause problems," he watched Tezuka leave the court and walk towards them. Then he looked back sharply at Eiji, "Wait, this was an actual plan?!"
"Well...," Eiji began but then stopped as Tezuka also paused at Oishi's words. "Um..."
Tezuka didn't look at him as he resumed walking, but his voice carried back to them, "Kikumaru, I'd like a word."
ad_exia) posts a drabble request, what person could resist suggesting the biggest crack pairing from their favourite anime series? I cheerfully demanded an Atobe x Eiji fic because, hey, that's the real meaning of friendship. I added to this a plot synopsis of "A romantic date going through Atobe's wardrobe." Estimated compatibility between these two characters? Any advances on zero?... Then I decided to also write it myself. I'd add a line starting "because..." at this point but I can still think of no explanation. However, the comparison between our scripts is bound to be nothing short of hilarious. (Yay!
ad_exia 's drabble can be found here: Lilac and Lace).Due to attempting this exercise on a 12 hour flight from Japan to Europe, the whole "drabble" concept was blown out the window so I'm going to pretend it never existed and offer:
Dressing for Distraction
"Kikumaru, would you care to dine...," Atobe cut himself off mid-sentence as his eyes scanned the totally empty bedchamber. "Now where has he gone?" he murmured. Habit made him check the ceiling, but the elegant cornicing and the ornate branches of the chandelier were untouched. Possibly the acrobat had learnt from last week's experience although Atobe was not about to walk across any room again without checking the location of his boyfriend first.
As he was debating whether he would have to actually crawl and look under the bed, there was a thump and a crash followed by a small wail from the direction of the door in the far corner. Atobe sighed and walked across the room, stepping into a large windowless chamber where a winding rail snaked throughout the space, supporting a multitude of garments. Pressing his palm to a button on the wall, Atobe scanned his closet as the clothing rail started to move, providing snap shots through the room between the shirts, trousers and sweaters as they rolled by. He located the trouble spot; a large pile of clothing and a couple of fallen shelves, and stopped the rail, ducking under several lines of trousers to reach the far wall. Plucking a shirt from near one end of the chaos, Atobe looked into Kikumaru Eiji's sapphire eyes. "Do I even want to ask why?" he inquired, eyebrows raised.
Eiji beamed cheerfully up at him. "All your shelving makes a great climbing wall," he said, gesturing at the floor to ceiling racks. "They ..."
"... are not weight bearing," Atobe finished, dryly.
"Mou ... right," Eiji's face briefly assumed an expression of guilt as he viewed the carnage surrounding him. "This closet is huge!" he added, brightening again. "I just have a dresser. This could be a spare bedroom. A large spare bedroom."
Atobe sighed. "We have ten guest bedchambers," he pointed out. "Why would I want to make this into another one?" his eyes swept the rails. "Besides," he added. "I need the space."
Eiji screwed up his face into his best attempt at a skeptical look. It was cute, Atobe reflected, or at least it would be if it was not his closet they were discussing. "You couldn't wear half this stuff in a lifetime," Eiji informed him. He pointed to the shirt in Atobe's hand. "When was the last time you wore that?"
Atobe looked down at the pink garment with its ruffled, low-cut neckline. "Recently," he declared.
Eiji's nose scrunched up still further. "Then it was too recent," he informed his lover. His eyes swept the space behind them. "How about that?" His gaze had spotted a skin-tight lycra cat suit in electric blue.
Atobe's eyes followed his finger to view the sleeveless all-in-one. "Not so recently," he admitted. "But I might wear it again."
Eiji extracted himself from the rubble of shelving and walked over to pick up the suit, dangling it in front of Atobe's face. "When?" he demanded.
Atobe considered it. "Perhaps the next time I play Tezuka."
Eiji blinked. "Buchou?" he said blankly. He examined the suit again. It dipped low in the front to expose most of the wearer's chest and the legs were patterned with gold thread embroidery. Eiji scratched at the stitching. "Do you think he'd like it?"
"No," Atobe explained patiently, rescuing the suit from Eiji's fingers. "But if it’s distracting enough then he'll be unable to reach the detached state of Hyaku Ren Jitoku no Kiwami." He looked up at the closet ceiling, his eyes momentarily unfocussed. "I hate it when he does that," he muttered. "The glowing really rubs it in."
"I dunno," Eiji said doubtfully, his eyes following the blue suit as Atobe returned it to its original position. "Nothing much distracts Buchou."
"Hmm," Atobe's eyes roved around the room as he stood with his arms folded across his chest. "Perhaps if I added these?" Striding forward, he plucked a pair of calf-high leather boots from a top shelf, fingering their slight heel as he brought them to Eiji for inspection. "A gift from Oshitari," he explained.
Eiji ran his hands over the boots' brass buckles, trying to decide whether their origin as a present from the long haired tensai made their continuing presence in Atobe's wardrobe acceptable. His eyes lit up when a red velvet shirt was swung in front of his nose. "Furry!" he exclaimed, rubbing his face in its folds.
Atobe let the shirt go, making a mental note to bring it out next time he and Eiji had dinner plans. "If furry is good...," he walked away to the other end of the room, dipping a hand into a chest pushed against the opposite wall.
Eiji, whose face was still buried in the velvet shirt, felt softness wrap around his forehead. "Ooh," he looked up and a lime green feather boa fell gently around his shoulders.
Atobe wound the boa around Eiji's head, covering the lower part of his face. Blue eyes peered between green feathers and rusty hair. "Distracting," thought Atobe. "Definitely distracting."
Eiji started to laugh helplessly, the sound muffled through a mouthful of feathers. His eyes travelled from the cat suit to the leather boots and down to the boa and the red velvet shirt, still clutched in his hands. "That'll distract Buchou," he chuckled. He stepped towards Atobe but tripped over the boots to end up in a heap of feather, velvet and leather. Rolling onto his back, eyes still brimming with laugher, he raised his right hand in a V-sign. "Bwee!" he declared.
Atobe smiled. He never could resist that laugh.
----
"Game, set and match, Tezuka," the referee called. "Six games to two."
Eiji rested his chin on the railings surrounding the court. "Well, Buchou didn't go all Muga no Kyouchi," he pointed out.
Beside him, Oishi looked down at his friend's fiery mass of locks. "Eiji, he didn't have to. Atobe could barely run in those boots," he blinked as he looked back at the player on the far side of the court. "And that boa got caught up in his racket."
Eiji sighed. "That was the floor in the plan," he admitted. "But who would have guessed lycra could tear so easily?"
Oishi shook his head in amused disbelieve. "No one, Eiji," he said. "I'm sure could have predicted that outfit could cause problems," he watched Tezuka leave the court and walk towards them. Then he looked back sharply at Eiji, "Wait, this was an actual plan?!"
"Well...," Eiji began but then stopped as Tezuka also paused at Oishi's words. "Um..."
Tezuka didn't look at him as he resumed walking, but his voice carried back to them, "Kikumaru, I'd like a word."