Pergamond

Rating: G (providing you stay away from the mentioned websites. Else, R).
Characters: Starbucks AU: Shishido, Oshitari and Sanada
Summary: Oshitari thinks Sanada does not fully appreciate the shop's new wifi.
Disclaimer: This is fanfic, all rights remain with Konomi. All rights to Starbucks AUs remain with Amber :)
Note: All the sites mentioned exist. Be grateful I didn't provide direct links and don't inquire how I know this.

( Cuddly carcasses safe for the under threes )

There are some situations that are just going to be awkward. Finding yourself opposite a dozen wide-eyes students who are all clearly anxious about having to speak English to this prospective British faculty member is bound to be one of them. I nodded, smiled encouragingly and wished I could help out by discussing my research in Japanese but ... well, I couldn't.

"What does your favourite character in Harry Potter teach?"

The question wasn't put to me but to a master's student who gulped audibly. The idea was a great one; start a conversation about an incredibly popular British-based franchise to kick off the conversation. The problem was that the professor who poised the question hadn't read the books himself and didn't realise that the answer was unlikely to be in a list of common English vocabulary:

'Apple... chair... book... school... transfiguration...' No, I couldn't see it.

Fortunately, this was an idea I could use but with a small twist.

"I like Japanese anime," I volunteered.

"Ah! Which ones?" came back an enthusiastic question.

"Prince of tennis?" I paused. "Tenisu no Ōjisama?"

"Tenisu no Ōjisama! Mada mada dane!" The response rang down the table from every student.

Problem solved. Ore-sama no bigi ni yoi na.,

--
("Mada mada dane" is the catch phrase of the anime series' progenitor, Echizen Ryoma. It obnoxiously means "You still have a long way to go". "Ore-sama no bigi ni yoi na" is said by one of the rival team members, translating to "Be awed at the sight of my prowess".)

"What can I get for you?"

"I'll have a soy tall, double shot, triple whipped, hazelnut mocha latte."

I tried really hard to make this order sound damn casual, with a side helping of narcissistic diva. Unfortunately, I couldn't help but feel guilty at making such a complex request of the Starbucks barista. Also, I was reading the order from my iPhone. I shot the woman an apologetic look. She grinned and we went through it again more slowly.

The reason I was attempting to purchase the most complicated drink on the menu when I normally just got a tea came down to .... fan fiction. Did I mention I spend a large fraction of my personal time pretending I am a middle school Japanese tennis player? Rarely? Huh. I can't imagine why. Anyway, accepting this, now put said Japanese boy in a story set in an alternative universe in which he orders incredibly complex drinks from Starbucks because he is an arrogant prick. Still with me? No...

Look, it's all here:

The reason why Elizabeth ordered a crazy drink at Starbucks

It was written by monarchist and I role-play (in a unconnected game) the character Atobe who orders this drink as if it is water. Therefore I had to do this. Obviously.

It's similar to how I made myself like ginger beer as a child because all the school kids in Enid Blyton books drank it at midnight feasts. I think when I write a best seller, all the characters are going to have cravings for broccoli.

... is full of win.

http://intensivetennis.blogspot.com/

The authors have done a play-by-play summary of each episode of Prince of Tennis (including most recently, the Shin TeniPuri) and it is EPICALLY AWESOME.

See, for instance, the Nationals OVA episode of Atobe vs. Echizen. Favourite quote from that entry:

"It's "Tezuka" that's thwarting Atobe? Keigo, baby, you have an obsession. Get some counseling. Or at least try not to be so obvious..."

I mean, we were all thinking that, but seeing it written down always cements the deal.

For lion_crest-ers, a conversation on the way back from Niagara Falls today:

pergamond: Yukimura is evil.
britkit27: Yukimura is totally evil.
argentum_luna: ... and that's the way we like him.

Like many popular fandoms, "The Prince of Tennis" Japanese anime series has spawned a number of spin-off console games including those for the Playstation 2. After a couple of (heaven forbid) tennis related games, Konami gave in to what the fans really wanted; a dating game.

In "Gakuensai no Oujisama" you play a female student at one of the main schools who has been enlisted to help the tennis team put on an event for a festival due to be held in a few weeks time (a premise from the mini-movie "Atobe's Gift"). The only possible reason you would agree to take on such a thankless task is for the opportunity to jump one of the players before the end of the festivities.

I should mention that this game is entirely in Japanese but, like in real dating, understanding the words is only of marginal help in the game play. For instance, when you attempt a chat up line on a certain Hyoutei player who instantly mentions his doubles partner, little in the way of translation skills are needed.

So despite starting out as a Hyoutei fan girl (peer pressure: how could so many ore-sama worshipers be wrong?), ad_exia and I decided this team were far too much work and switched to the progenitor club, Seigaku. This turn-coating resulted in significant self-sacrifice as we were forced to sample a noxious juice and only narrowly missed being forced fed a jalapeno sandwich (evidently, no one asked for our advice when Inui and Fuji were put in charge of a food stall). Disaster struck when (as far as we could deduce) the team were unable to get a hold of the required 1 kg of wasabi. Rather than mass celebration, we were sent to Atobe for assistance, a course of action that everyone approved of apart from Tezuka. However, all of this paled in comparison when Ryoma asked for our phone number (yes, we had indeed been chatting up a twelve year old). We succeeded in going on a date which involved a mention of giant ice-creams and walking round the festival to be informed by Ohtori (in a tux) that we couldn't enter the mansion there unless we were a Hyoutei fan girl. Both of us appeared to feel the sacrifice was too much.

Despite cheering Ryoma as he starred in Hamlet as a blond haired babe in love with Atobe, we were unable to top off our "like meter" before the fun came to an end. Mada mada da ne, apparently.

Perhaps twelve year olds were just more difficult. Leaving Seigaku, we donned the uniform of Rikkai to receive Sanada's instructions. We woke up Kirihara (who seemed relieved we weren't Sanada) and then tried to get into Niou's good books. This latter plan resulted in us helping him tidy a store room. By "helping" I mean we were left to do the entire job alone before we collapsed in a dead faint from exhaustion. While we were close to breathing our last, Niou remembers our existence during a chat with Yagyuu by the fountain (where I am sure he was really working his arse off) and hauls us over to the infirmary. A prolonged conversation followed in which there was a distinct lack of "gomen" or indeed any other word for "sorry". That said, Niou clearly loved us for it. Perhaps we had agreed not to grass him in to Sanada or maybe Niou just likes his women unconscious. The latter thought made us wonder what had happened while we were .... it was time to stop playing for today.

When a friend (who we shall arbitrarily call ad_exia) posts a drabble request, what person could resist suggesting the biggest crack pairing from their favourite anime series? I cheerfully demanded an Atobe x Eiji fic because, hey, that's the real meaning of friendship. I added to this a plot synopsis of "A romantic date going through Atobe's wardrobe." Estimated compatibility between these two characters? Any advances on zero?

... Then I decided to also write it myself. I'd add a line starting "because..." at this point but I can still think of no explanation. However, the comparison between our scripts is bound to be nothing short of hilarious. (Yay! ad_exia 's drabble can be found here: Lilac and Lace).

Due to attempting this exercise on a 12 hour flight from Japan to Europe, the whole "drabble" concept was blown out the window so I'm going to pretend it never existed and offer:

( Dressing for Distraction )